For Shiho

[getting_better]

[ Once, his very presence was cause for concern of hundreds of powerful and terrifying people. Once, the shadows of his wings were an omen for certain death. Once, he resigned himself to a life muddled by sorrow, blood, and suffering. Once, he was a dead man walking.

Now, the guns unloaded and put away, the blade resigned to a display ornament locked behind a glass case, the horrid bitter memories are still there but no longer at the forefront. Now he sleeps in a warm bed, in a nice home, next to a woman who crashed into his life and derailed him from what he believed to be his "fate". It was clear that "fate" no longer had a place in his life.

He was a person, a being, someone who can smile, laugh, cry, and rest whenever he needed to. Whenever he wanted to. His name is Samuel Sannomiya-Mercer, the dutiful and loving husband to Shiho Sannomiya-Mercer. Ten years have passed since they tied that knot, eight since he started his business, and seven months since they both decided that it was time for their little family of two to become bigger and after going through the necessary procedures - that plan was well on it's way.

Ecstatic doesn't even come close to how he felt, there were no words in fact, that he could say that could capture the moment they found that she was with child - his child.....And there was even less when the joy had turned into a quiet existential dread as the word "Father" fell on him like a ton of bricks. The days in his office were spent in a solemn haze as fifteen thousand thoughts and concerns raced through his mind, often looping around themselves. Now he sits in a painted room, the third coat and color he'd applied this week. It started of pastel blue on a Monday, by Wednesday it was a minty green, and today - Thursday, it was a sweet lilac. He stared at the wall as if it had caused him some offense and said - ]

....How did I even get this color? I'm pretty sure I meant this to be pink.

...

What the hell did it say on the can?

[ Grumbling, he turned on the floor where he sat cross legged, paint covered shirt and old jeans, used rollers and brushes next to him as was a dozen cans of opened and unopened paint. The furniture that was already in the room were moved to the hall, AGAIN, so he can do this nonesense. Repainting the room, not glaring at a can that has some ridiculously long pretentious name which he thought meant pink, not pale purple. ]

Comments

[getting_better]

[ Chances of escape while she was standing was at forty to fifty percent. Chances of escape while she's on his lap is at negative four thousand times infinity. ]

Y-Yeah! Just looking out for what's best for our child!

[ Now he's not looking at her, adopting the 'if-you-can't-see-me-I'm-not-in-trouble' method some dogs and cats use.

There was an idea, getting a pet. It'll be good for the kid or kids to have a pet they can play with.

Now he's just getting distracted again. ]

[good_ideas]

[Shiho makes another noncommittal sound, almost sounding like she's convinced.

Except then both of her hands are going to either side of his face, tilting his head down so she can meet his eyes and focus him back on the conversation at hand.]

So. What is this about? Or are you going to make me and our baby worry?

[getting_better]

[ He was wrong. Escape was never in the books. Never.

With his gaze forcibly focused on her Sam couldn't help but swallow down. He was so grounded now. ]

You know, you're going to be a really great mom. You're really good at getting people to focus. I read that kids have terrible attention spans and that the parents have to teach them how to really focus. I think our kid is gonna have a great future.

[ He smiles hoping to deflect explaining by flaterry. He figures there's about a five percent chance this'll work. ]

[good_ideas]

[No escape, only the truth!

Shiho pouts at him and does briefly consider pretending like she's in pain or making some wild accusation about how he put a baby in her and yet can't even give her the truth. But only briefly. He's already a little panicked and that wouldn't do either of them any favours. So instead she sighs and pokes his cheek.]

......so is this you saying that you're worried you won't be a good dad?

[getting_better]

[ If she said that, he's be kowtowing on the floor and spilling his guts, not only in an instant, but for days. ]

N-N-No! No, not at all!

[ Not just that at least. ]

W-Well, maybe a just teeny tiny bit, but I'm just trying to look out for our child. To make sure they have the best - I've already said that, haven't I?

[ Oh he's so busted. He's so busted it's kinda sad. He looks at Shiho then at the wall a few times, then a few times more. ]

....Are you sure it's always been purple?

[ Congratulations. The father of her child a moron. ]

[good_ideas]

[And a part of her would feel very bad about it. Especially because she didn’t pull anything and here he is already spilling the beans, panicking.

With a sigh, she smiles and leans into him, taking one of his panicked hands and setting it on her belly.]

It’s always been purple. And you’re already doing amazing. You don’t have to be the best, I can’t promise that I’ll be the best.

[getting_better]

[ It's hard to avoid talking about something when your wife can literally read your mind, its even harder when she does this. ]

It's not that.

[ A beat. ]

Well, not just that. It's....I dunno. I didn't have much time with dad, so I don't have much to go on when it comes to being one. But its also, when I think of our kid I get....restless. Like, what would they be like, what they'd want to be, who would they look like, then the next thing I know I'm...moving furniture again and arguing with hardware store salesmen.

[ A beat, and he remembers - ]

Awww! That guy did tell me it's purple!

[good_ideas]

I didn't either. [Have much with her dad. Or her mom.]

And I think it's normal to think like that. To want to make sure everything is perfect because at least how our house looks is something we can control. [She settles in, smiling a little at him figuring out that lilac was purple.]

No one, not even a precog, can tell us who this baby is going to turn out to be. Well, other than the fact that we might have a psychometer. Who do you think they'll look like? [Shiho and her mother's genes are Strong as Heck though so.]

[getting_better]

I hope they'll take after you more. I hope they have your hair, your facial features, your eyes - I think I want them to be almost a clone of you.

[ He says while picturing a daughter like Shiho, who he will also spoil rotten. ]

Besides the thought of another, smaller me that has no self-control - [ He paused and thought about his life and choices very quickly since he just implied he has self control. ] - l-less self control than me is kinda scary.

[ The only way his child has less self-control than him is if negative self-control was a thing. ]

....yeah, I think that's scary. Yeah, they should take after you more.

[good_ideas]

Self-control can be taught, you know. [and don't even talk to her about her own self-control which is also zero.]

And besides, I think it would be cute if we didn't just have clones of me. I want to see you too when I look at our kids. They're supposed to be "ours".

[She smiles, leaning against him.]

[getting_better]

[ She makes a good point about the kids, but - ]

I hope you're not implying we can teach them that? Neither of us are really qualified - as you can see.

[ Gesturing to the room they are seated in. ]

Okay, maybe they can take...my good sense of taste.

[ That's not exactly a physical quality per se, but it is a quality. ]

[good_ideas]

Minamoto-san got me to direct it a little, at least. [That's true! Sure she has no self-control but she knows what she can and cannot do. If Minamoto, a genius, can do it then surely a psychometer could??]

Are we having a baby or a new chef for your restaurant?

[getting_better]

[ He doesn't like how she phrased that. He was in the army then black ops. He has...remembers having, self discipline. Sometime a while back....before....ago....a lifetime.... ]

...we're having a baby.

[ Said like a child being reminded of his chores. ]

Fine, what would you want to see in our baby?

[good_ideas]

[Shiho prefers to think of it as directed chaos.

And while she's smiling about his thoughts she quietly leans back against him now that the question is turned back on her.]

Healthy would be good. [At times like these she really wishes her mother was here, if just so she could ask what she would want this baby to be like. To ask if she had also worried so much about whether or not the baby would have powers and how hard life might be for it in the future.]

And for their life to be easy, for everyone to love them.

[getting_better]

[ He hums in thought as his hands gently drape over the small bump like a shield. ]

Well, of course. But I meant who would you want our kid to take after more? Me or you?

[ He's still unsure about seeing a mini-him but he's slowly accepting that, unlike the nursery or his restaurant, he can't control what their child would look like. ]

Honestly, I'd really like them to have your eyes. They're...well, they're not always honest. [ Is that a jab at "Evil" Shiho? Maybe. ] But I remember falling in love with them, so I think they'll be able to find someone nice in the future.

[good_ideas]

If the baby looked like me, it would be really cute. [she has no shame and also how dare he say her eyes aren't honest!!]

...and I hope so. But I bet if they had your eyes, someone would fall in love with them too. Just like I did with you.

[getting_better]

[ He does dare because people will back him up, especially all the people from companies she's backed into a corner for her to buy their company. Honestly the whole thing is just a game to her. ]

.....okay, maybe they can get my eyes.

[ He's incredibly simple and easy to convince, okay? ]

Hmmm, if we have a boy...I'd like him to be tall. Something like my height.

[good_ideas]

[And those people's opinions don't matter??? She already defeated them and took nearly everything they had so.]

Tall would be nice. My dad is really tall so I bet they'd be too. [Judging by the fact that Shiho is also tall. This kid is going to grow like a weed. And since it seems like Sam has been at least partially convinced to calm down she turns to snuggle against him.]

...I'm... actually kind of excited to meet it. Our baby.

[getting_better]

[ His own growth spurt was also terrible, and given he grew in a military academy he also got a lot of shit for never fitting in his clothes for a time. ]

Yeah. I mean, proof of me losing my mind and repainting a perfectly good room aside, I am excited. [ He holds her, hands sliding down her arms to her hands then squeezing gently. ]

It's still a little hard to believe we're going to be a family.

[good_ideas]

Well, we can afford it so why not? [Shiho is terrible with money even as she's about to become a mother and the head of a not-insubstantial company.]

We're going to be parents soon, it doesn't even really feel real yet, huh?

[Except their baby chooses right this moment to gently but very emphatically kick right where both their hands are. Her eyes are wide as she clutches his.]

D-Did you feel that? You felt that, right?

[getting_better]

[ He's surprised and stunned, so yes. He felt that. He actually held his breath and waited incase the baby did it again but when the second kick didn't come he let out the heavy breath. ]

I think someone wanted to remind us that they are very real. Not that they're hard to forget.

[ Clearly this child is well on their way to becoming an attention seeker. ]

Have you thought of a name?

[good_ideas]

[It's only once he lets out that breath that the baby kicks again, making Shiho laugh.

Well, she was a bit of an attention seeker as a child, albeit for all the wrong reasons. So isn't it fine if their child is a bit of one too? And this time when they asked, she'd be able to be there to answer.]


....Hm.... well... isn't a name usually something of a wish for the baby? Like wanting them to grow up healthy and happy and cute.

[Or in her case naming her after a Tales of Genji character because Shiina had a Naming Scheme to follow.]

Have you thought of one? We can make a list. [Which is more busy-work so he doesn't have to keep re-painting the baby's room.]

[getting_better]

....I have actually thought of one. For a boy. Desmond.

[ There's a memory in his head. He was out in the middle of a battlefield that had fallen silent, looking through the sights of his rifle while the medic next to him spoke. ]

I decided on it a long time ago, just forgot about it until recently. To be fair, at the time I thought I was gonna die when I first half-heartedly decided it and I was so hopped up on...andrenaline or morphine, I can't remember, that to this day I'm not a hundred percent sure that medic was even real.

[good_ideas]

Desmond?

[Shiho doesn't fall into the memory but she can't help but want to take a peek.]

Why Desmond?

[getting_better]

[ There's not much to be said about the memory, other than its typical of one of his from that time. Dark, bloody, smelled of fire, rot, and earth, though this was slightly quietier compared to others. ]

We'll the medic that was with me, an older guy and...I he was a corporal or something, anyway - he and I were in a bad way. I got hit in the leg and couldn't move, then I got seperated from my unit and this guy stayed with me.

[ Night time, like any operation. There's a brief flash of the exact moment Sam described, a sudden numbness in his leg as he went flying from an explosion then crawling behind the remains of a truck for cover. Minutes later there's someone else on top of him speaking with a strong southern accent telling him he'll be okay and hitting him with some morphine while he raised his rifle and fired at whatever so much as twitched in their general direction. ]

It was hours before we finally got the word someone was gonna fish us out but, the whole while this guy kept telling me we're gonna be okay, we're gonna be okay. It was I think early in the morning when he told me about a medic in a war far before my time named Desmond Doss.

This guy didn't carry a gun because of his beliefs, but he willingly jumped straight into the frontlines, right alongside his fellow soldiers, but instead of taking lives he was saving them. Jumping in and out of combat, carrying a wounded soldier one after the other for hours and hours on end. Through the night, through the hellscape of war, machinegun fire and excruciating pain and weariness, Desmond Doss did everything and anything he can to save people, saving even enemy soldiers if he can. He was there, and saved dozens of not hundreds of men who would have died or had particaly given up. He lived through three campaigns and had a son.

[ He smiled. ]

We were saved shortly after, and the story stuck with me. I thought "This Doss guy must have been one crazy sonuvabitch to do that", but his story resonated with me. I told myself that if ever made it through my fight, I'd name my first son after him with the hopes he becomes like Desmond. The first hero I had in a long time. A real, feeble, but extra ordinary human being.